Seeing with New Eyes

I wanted to document where I have been in the past 9 days with myself and God. On Tuesday, November 4th, we found out we are going to have a beautiful baby boy! What joy! Unfortunately, I let the joy of that news be stolen by some other news. We found out there was a marker on the scan for Down Syndrome. This was sudden and unexpected, of course. My regular Ob was not worried but after stating this simple fact, I couldn't get over it. I called the next morning and she made an appointment with a specialist. We prayed for answers and a quick appointment with a doctor that would be gracious and loving. God answered quickly. We were able to get an appointment that afternoon. We didn't get the solid answers we were looking for. It is quite amazing that answers of all sorts and statistics of all kinds were presented to us.  In any other environment, one that did not consider the mortality or health of your unborn child, I believe we would have been singing the praises of God for bles

I feel convicted by how I have been following God. Or no following Him. My life was dedicated to serving Him when I became a Christian but have I really sought after His will? Do I always ask and seek what He would have me do instead of what I want or think I need? As a follower, do I love others more than myself? Am I Willing to give up my family when He asks me to? To give up my comfort? To give up control? What does this look like practically? Daily? Hourly? How can I follow The Lord o f the earth and be His servant instead of the world's, or better yet, myself? Ugh! I am scum! Thank you Jesus for my life an saving my soul ! Without you, who else is there?