You Can Decide
Yesterday started off with a bang. I woke up refreshed. My kids slept well and were happy. It all pointed to a day filled with peace and fun. And then...the familiar sound of screaming, crying, and tattling entered in. This was the third day in a row that I had to speak with my oldest about not using a physical means to get her point across to her brother. Not to mention the hurtfulness that spewed out of her mouth to her friend the day before. Something bigger was sitting below the surface and she acted out of that. I can totally relate to her for so many of my days.
Of course, my first instinct was to take all privileges away for the day. That wasn't getting at the heart of the issue. So, I sat her down and asked her what was going on inside of her. I'm not sure she even knew. She was just angry inside. But rather than try to dig for what it was, fix it, and move on, I felt she just needed to name the yuck inside as sin. Period. We discussed how she could try and change those behaviors but until she actually laid them before the throne of God, she would keep struggling. You would think that this heavy subject would have weighed her spirit down but it didn't. She started crying. And then we prayed. We prayed that God would remove the yuck. That He would replace it with the good that He placed within her. We prayed for a do-over. A mulligan. When we finished praying, her little soul truly looked lighter. I think she felt relieved that her behavior was able to change not because it's all on her shoulders. She can ask for help to change.
You are a masterpiece. Made in the image of God. You have many things to offer this world.
There are also things that are not from how you were made. Things that shape have shaped you throughout your life. Parents, friends, spouses, children, loss, heartbreak, trauma. Things that actually transform you in ways you never expected or realized were happening. And some things you aren't meant to be.
You weren't created to be rage-filled or depressed. You weren't created to be fearful or prideful. The list goes on and on.
The beautiful part is that you don't have to keep owning those labels and entering into those "negative" things with no way to change. You can decide you want to be more than those. You can choose to turn those over to someone that can release you from them. The first step is to accept where you are at.
It's not our job to change our children. It's not even our job to really change ourselves. Our job is to turn it over to the One who can. While we can't always choose what happens to us, we can decide to give those big emotions to God and ask Him to help us know what to do with them.
Engage your Kids -
Activity: Come up with a list of characters in movies or books who allowed their negative emotions to control their actions. (I.e. Scar from the Lion King - Jealousy caused him to plot to kill his brother, The Beast - pride/anger caused him to lash out and loose friends, etc).
Talk about it:
What emotion do you have a hard time controlling?
What is one way you can remind yourself that you don't have to keep acting that way?
Read: James 1:19-21
Reiterate:
You can decide how to respond. You can choose to ask God for help.
Of course, my first instinct was to take all privileges away for the day. That wasn't getting at the heart of the issue. So, I sat her down and asked her what was going on inside of her. I'm not sure she even knew. She was just angry inside. But rather than try to dig for what it was, fix it, and move on, I felt she just needed to name the yuck inside as sin. Period. We discussed how she could try and change those behaviors but until she actually laid them before the throne of God, she would keep struggling. You would think that this heavy subject would have weighed her spirit down but it didn't. She started crying. And then we prayed. We prayed that God would remove the yuck. That He would replace it with the good that He placed within her. We prayed for a do-over. A mulligan. When we finished praying, her little soul truly looked lighter. I think she felt relieved that her behavior was able to change not because it's all on her shoulders. She can ask for help to change.
You are a masterpiece. Made in the image of God. You have many things to offer this world.
There are also things that are not from how you were made. Things that shape have shaped you throughout your life. Parents, friends, spouses, children, loss, heartbreak, trauma. Things that actually transform you in ways you never expected or realized were happening. And some things you aren't meant to be.
You weren't created to be rage-filled or depressed. You weren't created to be fearful or prideful. The list goes on and on.
The beautiful part is that you don't have to keep owning those labels and entering into those "negative" things with no way to change. You can decide you want to be more than those. You can choose to turn those over to someone that can release you from them. The first step is to accept where you are at.
It's not our job to change our children. It's not even our job to really change ourselves. Our job is to turn it over to the One who can. While we can't always choose what happens to us, we can decide to give those big emotions to God and ask Him to help us know what to do with them.
Engage your Kids -
Activity: Come up with a list of characters in movies or books who allowed their negative emotions to control their actions. (I.e. Scar from the Lion King - Jealousy caused him to plot to kill his brother, The Beast - pride/anger caused him to lash out and loose friends, etc).
Talk about it:
What emotion do you have a hard time controlling?
What is one way you can remind yourself that you don't have to keep acting that way?
Read: James 1:19-21
Reiterate:
You can decide how to respond. You can choose to ask God for help.
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