Seeing with New Eyes

The past two days were wonderful with Jocelyn. She has been following directions very well and only had to go in time out a handful of times in both days combined. These are days that make me feel like I am a good parent. They allow my love for her to grow exponentially. We went to the store to help her daddy find some new running shoes. There was a small, fake running track that lay on the floor just calling for use. Jocelyn thought it was pretty cool that she could follow the line on it. We had a race and she won. The smile that lit up on her face was contagious. Everyone in the store couldn't help but notice her. This moment in time brought me joy that I would have never imagined finding in a sporting goods store. Yesterday Jossy and I played airplane in her room after nap time. She has no fear so I put her way up high on my feet and then let her fall into my hands. She wanted to do this over and over again. Every time her little face would fall towards mine, I would smile. This

When I was pregnant with Jocelyn, I was worried about a lot. Is she okay? Is she healthy? Does she have all her fingers and toes? You know, the big ones. And I also worried about whether or not she would be cute. I know it's a silly thing to worry about but I did. But I have come to realize that God has a great sense of humor when it comes to requests like this. I got a really cute kid but I forgot to ask for a well behaved one. She is in the thick of some sort of developmental stage and she has tried my patience to a breaking point. Today, we went to story hour and had to leave early because she was throwing a fit. I was so frustrated that we had to leave but even more because as we were leaving she began saying "byeee" in her cute little voice like she was getting away and everyone else was a sucker. This made me so mad. In fact, I called Mike crying because she has been so miserable lately. Time outs all of the time and she has begun really defying Mike and I. All I ca

This is Jossy's favorite word again. She now does it for almost anything I ask her. She loves to say "no" while shaking her head from side to side. I've done some reading on this and it seems as if toddlers love to say this because it gives them a sense of control even if they really do want to say yes. For instance, we are riding in the car and I ask Jocelyn what song she wants to listen to. She says "Marching" or "Don't" (both of these are for songs on a kids cd my friend Hannah made for us). Once I switch to that song, she immediately says "no" shaking her head and then I begin to scan through each of the songs as she does this same thing for each one. Occasionally, she will stop and listen intently to a song for the first few beats until she decides, once again, to say "no". I can't help but laugh as she does this because she seems so sure of herself and her decisions. She is trying to be so independent yet as soon a

Today was Jocelyn's 18 month birthday. It is almost impossible for me to remember what she was like just a year ago. She was 6 months old, unable to walk or talk yet. She had only a tiny amount of hair and no teeth. In one short year, she has managed to walk, talk, dance, giggle, grow in 10 teeth and have enough hair to be able to wear pigtails. It's amazing how fast children grow in their first years of life. I relate it to how we grow as Christians (at least how I did). When you first accept Christ as your savior, all you want to do is eat, sleep and drink Him in. You have this kind of fire inside that grows rapidly and people can actually see you growing and learning. Eventually, you slow down a bit and the growth isn't as obvious. There is this time of rest and steady growth that allows you to mature your relationship. And this is the cycle that continues a lifetime and beyond. It's always hard for me to look back on when I first became a Christian and see how on fi

Round 2. Me versus the inner contents of my child's belly. Jossy woke up again, with vomit in her crib. Only today, she not only threw up in the crib, she threw up 3 more times in our room. So we were quarantined to the house today. I about went stir crazy! And the only way I was able to get my 18 month old to sit still so she didn't get sick again was to watch about 10 Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episodes. I am not sure I can watch that for at least another week. She is just such a busy body. She can't sit still but for 15 minutes at most. And I can't explain to her that it makes her tummy feel better if she stays still instead of running around the house. She has always been this active. Even in my belly she was this way. Always on the go and on to the next best thing. Which means that she will be a lot like me in that it will be hard for her to slow down and sit with God. I get so accustomed to going 100 miles a minute that when I sit down for some quiet time, it is all I

Today I woke up and went in to wake Jossy up at 730am. When I walked in the room the smell of vomit hit my nose immediately. She had thrown up all over her crib. It was in her hair, on her clothes, and all over the blankets. I felt so bad for her. She didn't seem to be too upset though. I picked her up and stripped her down to her onsie underneath. I began to gather the blankets, stuffed animals, sheets and other bedding that had been destroyed by the throw up. I took it to the sink and washed it off first and then started the washing machine while Jossy ate some cheerios and apple slices. The reason I am explaining all of this in such detail and as if it were just another day is because....it was just another day. You see, I have done this at least once or twice already. The first times I was in a panic and frustrated that my day started off so badly. This time, however, I felt bad for my little munchkin and just wanted to get things back to normal as quickly as possible for her.

Well today was Jossy first experience with a bully at the indoor playground. She was running around and enjoying the free space to roam, climb and slide until a little 3 1/2 or 4 year old snot nosed girl pushed her. At first, I didn't realize what was going on. I heard Jocelyn crying and looking for me so I went to get her. I saw this little blond girl standing behind her on the ramp and Joss was on the ground crying. I didn't know whether the girl had pushed her on purpose or she had knocked her over while trying to get around. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and picked Jossy up. Although, I should have known something was up when this girl ran away with a look of fear as showed up. I decided to keep an eye on her for the rest of the play time. And then it happened, AGAIN! This time I saw the incident go down. This girl full on slammed Jossy into the rock wall structure for no reason. I tried to get over in time to say something but as soon as Joss let out her first scream

This morning we all set down for breakfast before church and began to eat. Mike and I have tried to make a habit of praying before we eat 1..so that Jossy will learn to thank the Lord for food and 2...because we need to learn too! So we always say "Jossy, fold your hands and let's say grace". It usually takes us a few times before she figures out what we mean and then she will do it. Today, however, she was the one who reminded us. As soon as we all got to the table and pulled her chair up next to us, we began to eat and she looked at us and folded her hands. She was ready and knew what comes before we all eat. We were lazy and forgetful and had to have our tiny toddler remind us. So my realization is that while we, as parents, have a lot to teach our children about respecting the Lord and honoring Him through our actions, our children can teach us too! Their lives are so simple and not clouded by the busy stuff. It's a lot easier for them to appreciate the things tha

Yesterday, Jocelyn was finished with her dinner and running around the kitchen. I was cleaning up and Mike was finishing his last few bites. Jocelyn started whining about something she wanted and then when asked to do something, she wasn't listening. I told her that the next time I asked her, if she didn't listen, she would go in time out. Now, I am of the school of thought that the more I treat her and talk to her as if she understands, the more she really begins to understand. And she knew exactly what I had just told her because she went behind the table and tried to hide. She is just tall enough to peek over the top and see me if she tries. She looked up at me and then realizing I was watching her, she bowed her head as if I could no longer see her. She did this a few times and then finally came out from behind the table and did as she was told. This made me laugh a bit because she still thinks if she can't see me, then surely I can't see her :) And here is the Ah H

So today I can honestly say that I was not walking in or with the spirit. Especially when I got frustrated. Jocelyn was making it hard to get anything done this morning...but that just began to wear on me. Then she wouldn't nap at my friend's house and woke up after like 40 minutes miserable! Then my email account got hacked and my relative wired money to some crook in the UK (she stopped it before it actually went through). While all this was happening, I dropped an F bomb and got super angry that Jossy was being such a pain. hung up on both my husband and my mom....yelled at Jossy. It was bad. Truthfully, I don't really know how this relates to my relationship with God other than points out how very human I am. It's super humbling to know how quickly I fall short of His goodness and grace when put into a stressful situation. And the sad part is...I also know that is when it really counts. How you handle yourself when you get stressed out or put in bad situations. This