Day 46 - No, No, No

This is Jossy's favorite word again. She now does it for almost anything I ask her. She loves to say "no" while shaking her head from side to side. I've done some reading on this and it seems as if toddlers love to say this because it gives them a sense of control even if they really do want to say yes. For instance, we are riding in the car and I ask Jocelyn what song she wants to listen to. She says "Marching" or "Don't" (both of these are for songs on a kids cd my friend Hannah made for us). Once I switch to that song, she immediately says "no" shaking her head and then I begin to scan through each of the songs as she does this same thing for each one. Occasionally, she will stop and listen intently to a song for the first few beats until she decides, once again, to say "no". I can't help but laugh as she does this because she seems so sure of herself and her decisions. She is trying to be so independent yet as soon as I leave the room to pee, she begins to freak out as if I am never coming home. She wants so much to be her own person but is so unsure of what will happen without me. I often feel this way with my relationship with God. I often say "no" to his choices before I even give them a chance and then make my own. But as soon as I don't feel Him near me, I begin to cry out for Him not to leave. Why do I want so badly to have all of this control yet am so afraid to be on my own? Something I think I will have to ponder a bit longer.

Jenna