Day 25 - A Humbling Moment

This blog is supposed to be real and about real experiences as a mom. I am going to be vulnerable here and expose myself. I was very frustrated with Jocelyn today. She was crying and whining and clingy and driving me crazy. I had plans in my head of how today would unfold and she was not helping with those plans at all. She begged to go downstairs and play in her ball pit. So I opened the door and told her to go ahead. Her reply? She screamed and cried because I was not going with her. To which I screamed: "Leave me alone and go play child!! I'm not going downstairs!!!". Her response? More tears and drama as she worked herself into a fit and followed me around yelling "Mama! Mama!" I felt really bad and realized I didn't help the situation by yelling at her so I picked her up and took her downstairs. I realize that giving in to what she wanted wasn't the best option either but I just love her too much to not take her into my arms. The rest of the day got slightly better and as I was watching her play at the playground with her daddy later that afternoon, I reflected on my behavior in that situation and how it relates to God as my parent. I can't even imagine how many times God wants to shake me and scream at me for not following His plan for the day. And even when I demand my way and He allows it, He still embraces me with loving arms, no question. The difference is that even though He may want to scream, He never does. He allows me to do my own thing and then is there when I realize maybe it wasn't the best decision. Or even if I don't recognize that I chose a different path, He doesn't care. He loves me too much to not hold me in His arms. That is humbling.

Proverbs 14:29
Psalm 33:5

Jenna